Five weeks with Gustav
It’s strange how you wait nine months to become parents, but still be caught off guard when you all of a sudden have full responsibility for a brand new person. Today it’s five weeks since Gustav arrived, and I don’t think there is a single emotion I havn’t felt since then. Strongest of all is the love and care I feel for this wonderful little creature u.
Born to give birth
Gustav was born the 6th of August on Ullevål hospital, eight days earlier than my due date. I was expecting the contractions to be much more painful, so we waited a tad bit too long to leave for the hospital. Everything went so fast when we arrived, and thanks to a great midwife, the active part of the labour was done in just three hours.
Afterwards I was just about to burst with pride. I had brought life to a brand new human for crying out loud, and with no painkillers if I may add – not by choice though. I honestly though the hardest part was over as we were transferred from the delivery room to the maternity hotel. Boy was I wrong.
A friend of mine once said that she rather give birth than go through the first six weeks of motherhood. I now understand what she ment.
The transition from just having myself to take care of to suddenly having a helpless little person depending on me was much tougher than imagined. My emotions was all over the place, and was a mix between sadness from loosing my freedom, fear of not being a good mother to Gustav, and guilt from not being head over heals in love.
This was just too overwhelming, and I cried for hours just about every day. I was genuinely scared I wouldn’t find happiness in my new role as mother. Extreme lack of sleep and a failed attempt to breast feed didn’t make the situation any better.
Nursing is king, but only if it’s possible
After trying just about every trick in the book, I had to admit defeat on nursing. My boobs just wouldn’t cooperate. It was a massive downer, and I felt like I was depriving Gustav from something absolutely essential. Thankfully I have both family, nurse and nursing counselor to tell me that babies grow up just as fine on formula too. The silver lining of bottle feeding was that Jørgen could participate with the meals. Sweet!
Luckily Gustav seemed totally unaffected by it all. He sleeps, eats and farts like a pro—just like his mom. And as long as the bottle is served within reasonable time, he is one happy camper. Of course he’s the most beautiful baby ever made.
We can do this!
Now we’re about to hit the six week mark, and are finally feeling like we got the hang of things. Gustav is is getting more and more aware of his surroundings, and we are excited to learn what the next couple of weeks will bring.
The baby blues is slowly fading away, and the love for the little one is growing every day.